Some Good News But First....

It's been an interesting few days. I found a food item I like--chicken broth with tiny noodles. I've had a small cup 3 out of the last 3 nights and managed to keep it down. Diane did go to the rehearsal dinner and wedding and had a wonderful time with family. It was good for her. I, however, did not have such a great time. I felt a little sorry for myself and simply got a bit melancholy. At 4 p.m. on Friday, out of nowhere, came the urge to vomit and promptly accommodated. Folks, this was a little scary. I assumed I could cope with it but my "doctor" was nowhere to be found so what was I to do if things got worse. I did the best I could which was to lay quietly in bed until night fall came, and I could go to sleep. I realized then how important again Diane is as caregiver and source of moral support. I didn't call her because I knew she would come home but rather waited until her arrival on Sunday to tell her. I don't want to make a big deal out of this, but it did make me realize that I am not "out of the woods."

A couple of other things: I seemed to have developed a case of dry skin and accompanying rashes which cause me to itch. A minor irritation but where in the hell did this come from? I've also discovered that in some respects I am rather fragile emotionally. I can get teary-eyed at the drop of a hat. Diane has been after me to watch the TV series Friday Night Lights for years and while it get rave reviews, I've just never watched it. Last night Diane used On Demand and we watched a couple episodes. I found myself crying like a baby over material that really wasn't all that poignant or moving. Just a personal self-observation.

Ahhh now for some really good news. We drove over to Burlington yesterday morning and met with all 3 doctors. Dr. Henrich, the ENT, put a small tube with camera at the end down my nose to look at the back of my tongue, and he reported "it looks good! very good!" He further noted, "I am pleased with your response to treatment." Next was oncologist Dr. El-Khoury who unfortunately is moving to Dubai at the end of August--I will miss him! He and Diane had a lengthy discussion about my medications. The process of weaning me from morphine, vicodin, lorazepan, prevacid, and reglan has begun in earnest. He examined my neck and found no lumps; he was also pleased with my progress. Then it was off to see Dr. McGinnis, the radiation guru, who naturally asked how I was doing. I told him I was very frustrated by my slooooowww progress in terms of swallowing, and he said that it was perfectly normal and to be expected.

Apparently it will be months before I make any real progress with eating, but it is important that I forge ahead and attempt to continue to swallow solids. I wish I could put into words how frustrating all of this is. The simple acts of eating, drinking, and swallowing are major daily hurdles/obstacles for me. Of course, six weeks ago my throat was on fire, I weighed 157, and looked and felt awful. The progress I've made is great and need to concentrate on that. I need to quit projecting on how long things will take and focus on today.

Everyone at the Cancer Care Center was very complimentary about how I looked. I'm going to assume that they were sincere in their comments. Their faces had smiles and not looks of concern that Diane saw when we left on June 10th after my final radiation treatment. I weighed in yesterday at 167 which pleased all of my 4 doctors which includes Dr. Diane. We return at the end of August to see the trio of doctors by which time the goal is for me to be consuming more food rather than product. We are relieved and pleased with our visit to Burlington!