American Composer Aaron Copland 
We made another trip to the Chicago area. On Wednesday, Nov. 3rd, we had lunch with Bob and Jerry Lynn Cox in Geneva at the Little Owl which is a local restaurant with a lot of character. Bob has had a bout with multiple myeloma cancer so we compared notes. Robert Wayne Cox is a special person to me as he mentored me at Western when he was a resident assistant (R.A.) on Seal Hall Three, and he supported my pursuit of an R.A. job as well. That evening Diane and I had dinner with Mike and Judy Mason in Clarendon Hills. Mike and I are members of the Class of 1964 of Hinsdale Township (now Central) High School, and we always room together when a group of guys from our class get together for road trips.
Thursday was a long but enjoyable day. Somehow when I was in junior high I got hooked on the music of the great American composer of Aaron Copland. I probably have about every piece of music he composed. It is not unusual for people to see me on I-88 arms in motion conducting my own imaginary Aaron Copland concert. I'm sure people are alarmed when they see me, but in my mind, I'm really pretty good! During radiation, patients are encouraged to bring their own CD's to play during treatment. Coach Patterson listened to Neil Diamond for all 35 treatments; and I drove the radiation staff crazy listening to endless Copland compositions.
Several months ago good friends Judy and Roger Miller who regularly attend the Chicago Symphony called and said, "Guess what, Copland's 'Appalachian Spring' is being performed November 4th, and you and Diane are going with us!" Little did we know back then what the past few months would bring our way. It was truly a game day decision, but we decided a trip out of Macomb would be good for me. Even though I still have PEG, I left Macomb without "product" and relied on Ensure and Boost Plus.
I rested for a couple of hours at Millers that afternoon since I knew I would be up late. We had a great evening. For two glorious uninterrupted hours, I was oblivious to my situation and just sat back and enjoyed the beautiful music. Thanks Judy and Roger!!
Friday morning, Diane drove me to LaGrange in order catch the train to Macomb while she sent a lovely weekend with her family in Zion. Diane's dad continues to get deeper into his vascular dementia but still smiles when he sees her. Her mom is active and content at the assisted living complex. Diane came home and said she had a great time, especially with her mom. It was a nice change of pace for Diane.
That brings me to melancholy. I get a little better every day with an emphasis on the word "little." I am reluctantly coming to the realization that the "new normal" will not be the old normal. Resting for two hours before going out at night is simply not part of my make-up, but it is now. It's the little things that get to me. When I sneeze or cough, my head hurts. When I work in the yard, I can only do so for about two hours then I'm done for the day. The "old normal" allowed me to work outside all day. The dry mouth is a constant reminder of my condition. I have a hard time remembering to take water every where I go. Loss of taste buds has really been a bummer. I do so love the taste of food, and I have good fortune of being married to an excellent cook. It is very difficult to eat when nothing has much taste at all, but reality is I need to do so if I ever hope to free myself from PEG. All of these things contribute to my melancholy mood at times.
I am no longer in control of my body. Every time I get an ache or a pain, I wonder is this something to worry about? Is this connected to my treatment? Is this to be expected? Is this another form of cancer? Sunday morning, I took an early walk and suddenly and inexplicably got a bloody nose. What the heck is this? And then I remember the words of Mike Mason who said, "Yeah, Gord, you are recovering from cancer but we are also 64 years old, and it is difficult to determine what is health related and what is old age."
It has always been my intent to be completely honest with what I write here, and I must confess I have some ambivalence about this experience with cancer. I have much to be thankful for as I do feel pretty good! I miss the old Gordy; however, I'm getting used to the new Gordy.
