I don't know why for sure but I've always been a big fan of Peter Pan. I suppose it's because his motto is "I won't grow up." Of course, cancer has a way of no longer making that phrase work real well but still James, Luke, Diane, and I enjoyed sitting in front of the TV watching the Disney Classic from beginning to end. When the crocodile is chasing Captain Hook, because of the fact that he swallowed an alarm clock, he goes "tick tock tick tock" and Captain Hook knows when he is the vicinity. Can't you just see Hook's eyebrows go up and down with each tick of the clock--priceless!!
As we wait for the PET scan hopefully at the end of this month, Diane and I can't help but hear the tick tock of expected results impacting out lives. I try not to think about it. Diane tries not to think about it. But the closer we get to this date when we find out if the "hot spots" are gone, we can't help but wonder what the results will be. We try not to project. However, it is possible that we will be getting what amounts to life or death feedback.
I thought that this had not affected me all that much until yesterday when I looked in the mirror, really looked in the mirror. I've been told over the years that I look youthful but yesterday was a bit of a wake up call. Who the hell is that old guy with the gaunt expression looking back at me? Oh my God, it's me! For the first time I realized that this cancer trip has taken a bit of a toll on youthful Gord. I mentioned that I think I've aged a bit to Diane as we walked around the Rec Center track and to my amazement she said nothing. Good God, she didn't disagree with me. Her silence spoke volumes. Oh well. This too shall pass.
Until we get the results the first week of December, Diane and I will continue to live with the 800-pound gorilla in our house, our car, on our walks, in our bed, and every where else we go. Such fun.
