Dear friend, Monill McClure, and I just before my last graduation ceremony at Spoon River College in May 2008. I AM RETIRED! 
June 2008--the birth of James Arthur Stevenson. IT'S A BOY!
June 27, 2009, Gordon III marries Lisa Adelman of Canton, Ohio, in Chicago. I DO.
January 2010, my parents, Anna and Harry Paulsen. THE FAMILY HOME SOLD.
February 20, 2010, Fort Myers Beach: celebrating Gordy's 64th and John's 36th birthdays. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!Formal retirement from a teaching career of 25 years at Spoon River College has been filled with many many time-consuming and enjoyable events. I loved teaching but certainly tired of grading composition papers. In June 2008, I travelled to Corpus Christi, Texas, for a 3-week stay with the Stevensons which included the opportunity to be in the delivery room when James Arthur Stevenson was born. It's a boy! What a thrill! Our family had a wonderful wedding celebration week in June 2009 when Gordon and Lisa got married at the Trump Tower in Chicago. Saying "I do" is life changing! My parents, Anna (86) and Harry (88) have some health issues so it was necessary to sell our family home, built in 1951 by my Grandpa Arnoldsen. Now Mom lives in assisted living and Dad resides at an adjacent nursing home because of his advanced dementia. Along with my siblings, I was a caregiver, helped dismantled the home, and secured living arrangements for them. Birthdays always mark another year filled with fun and enjoyable experiences. The Stevensons visited us in Fort Myers Beach in February which was terrific. Now think for a moment--what words have you heard that changed your life: "I'm pregnant" "I passed the exam" "I got the job" "I'm moving" "I got into college" "I'm graduating" "I love you"
On March 4th, Dr. Lozano called me into a small private room at Cape Coral Hospital. He said, "In all of my 27 years of practice, your husband's base of tongue biopsy was the most difficult and took the longest amount of time--2 1/2 hours. On the fifth piece of tissue, I can report that your husband has a one inch plus in diameter malignant tumor." Gordy has a malignant tumor--life changing words!! I was stunned and told the doctor, "you've just told me that my husband of 41 years has a cancerous tumor. This is a surreal moment for me." He replied, "in the next few months, you'll have quite a few surreal times." As the words registered more and more, I cried more and more. These were life-changing words.
A lot of you ask how I'm doing as the caregiver. I have my ups and downs that parallel Gordy's ups and downs. Maybe I am too empathetic because when he's not feeling well, I don't have a good day. When he had the severe vomiting, I feel that I'm failing as his caregiver. Of course this is new territory. As a mom for over 38 years, I usually know what to do in different health situations. Bacterial infections require antibiotics. If a child has a temp for 48 hours, a doctor's visit is necessary. My children have had broken bones, mono, tonsillitis, strep throats, all varieties of the flu, migraine headaches, chicken pox, and so on. However, radiation, chemo, PEG tubes, crushing pills for PEG, keeping track of medicines are new ones.
I'm devoted to Gordy's "new normal" lifestyle. Whatever I can do to facilitate a somewhat comfortable journey through his cancer treatment, I am there. Hey, I always wanted to be in the medical profession but I had two things standing in my way: (1) math and (2) chemistry. Now don't laugh too much!! I do feel very helpless watching him but I know that he realizes I offer my care even when he isn't exactly the most patient patient!!
I don't mind driving to IA and on chemo/radiation Fridays, I usually visit Lowe's, Hobby Lobby, and Target, Target, Target in the morning! I also try to have lunch or breakfast with Gretchen Miller. For the entire afternoon, I sit by Gordy in the chemo room and read, write, or needlepoint.
It is weird not to be sharing meals with Gordy--either at restaurants or in our home. I have forgotten to eat at times. Now that our kitchen is complete and I LOVE IT (photos to come later), I am amazed that I haven't turned on the oven. Gordy and I were watching Sixty Minutes, and I had a bowl of soup. He asked me to leave the room because the smell made him nauseous. I usually eat on the first floor or in my bedroom. Once a week, I go out for a nice dinner. Thanks to all of you dinner companions!!!
More than one person cautioned me not to hurry when organizing and returning items to the new cabinets in my new kitchen. But there are so many things out of our control in our lives, taking care of my kitchen and the house is one thing I can control.
I've also noticed that I use the pronoun we when talking about chemo and radiation etc. I'll say, "we have radiation at 9:30 on Tuesday" or "we see Dr. McGinnis on Wednesdays" or "we have a new medicine for the nausea." Maybe it is a way of showing I care and that we are a couple when fighting this--Team Taylor!!
Here's to the future and hearing some more life-changing words: The PET scan reveals NO CANCER CELLS. YOU'RE IN REMISSION. NO MORE CHEMO. NO MORE RADIATION. LET'S REMOVE THE PEG TUBE.
Thank you for posting blog comments; sending emails, cards, letters, and notes; visiting our home; and making phone calls. A special thank you to Luke and James Stevenson, Will and Audrey Epperly, and Catherine Maloney for the unique, original, creative hand made drawings/cards--thanks kids!!! I'll probably post more during this treatment. Thanks again for the emotional support we've received. You're the best!!!
