Night Time and P.M.A.

I generally turn off the lights between 9 and 10 p.m. after which Diane turns on my cold mist humidifier to help with my dry mouth. I then wake up every couple of hours due to (a) small bladder--nothing new here and (b) a mouth that feels like it is full of cotton. Fortunately, we have a table next to the bed where I keep a large glass of water. A new development yesterday: I can no longer take pills orally, even the little tiny ones. So Dr. Diane bought a pill crusher that allows me to take them through PEG with water.

Between 3 and 4 a.m., I'm up--that's just the way it is. Sometimes I can fall back asleep and then I join Diane between 4 and 5 at which time my morning regimen begins. I go to the sink and brush my teeth with special toothpaste and a soft brush. I do this early in the morning--I think 5 a.m. is early--as I can get through it before my gag reflex kicks in. Then it's off to the bedroom for a couple of cans of nutrients while I sit up quietly in the dark. And this is one of my reflective times of the day. Not very exciting but it works for me.

As for positive mental attitude (P.M.A.), I have come to the conclusion I actually have one! After 40 years of using the quote from Lincoln "People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be" is correct. While no one in our family to date has said, "Oh good, Dad has cancer!" I don't think any of us doubt for a moment that I will have a complete and total recovery. No other option seems viable or worthy of consideration. I really do believe that our path through life is about attitude, attitude, attitude. When I wake up in the morning and put my foot down on the floor, I really do smile and say "Good morning God" and not "Good God it's morning." Fortunately, I see roses and not the thorns that come with them.

I'm off to West Burlington by myself today and Diane will join me the rest of the week. Tomorrow the staff at the Cancer Care Center has consented to let Diane take a photo of me "en mask." I warn you in advance, this will not be for the faint hearted.