View of South Beach from our room 
Ryan, Gordy, and Gordon
Before Dinner
March 6th, Gordon ran a half-marathon with a team from Hyatt. Fortunately for us, it began and ended on South Beach. Congrats, Gordon!!Diane and I just returned from two wonderful weeks at South Beach, Florida. It was a healthy tonic and escape from what has been an arduous Midwest winter. Like "Goldilocks and the Three Bears," our visit was not too long, not too short, but just right. Hopefully next year, we can get away for a couple of months.
I spent a lot of time walking which has become, for me, synonymous with thinking. I also spent some time just sitting out looking at the ocean as I find that very peaceful and satisfying. One day I looked out where the ocean and the sky met, and I thanked God on two accounts: (1) it has been quite a year as all this started when I was diagnosed March 4, 2010, and I'm still here and (2) I thanked God for the prayers and support that have sustained and lifted our spirits this past year.
I've talked about the "new normal" before, but I am now coming to grips with the reality that there really is going to be a permanent "new normal." I am struggling with the conflict between what my mind feels I can do and what my body tells me I can do. This is further complicated by the fact that on the one hand, I am recovering from cancer and on the other hand, I'm 65 years old. For a person who has enjoyed a very active life, it is difficult to accept I will face physical limitations. I am just having trouble getting my arms around this reality.
Progress continues but it is painstakingly slow and frustrating but it is happening. I really thought after treatment, I could eliminate the word cancer from my vocabulary but such is not the case. The after effects continue to linger--unexplained bloody noses, a cough that doesn't go away, the always present lack of taste buds and salivary gland function, and a diminished energy level. As they say, hope springs eternal and spring is in the air in Macomb, and I will be able to spend more time out in the yard. I do know that for me, my bout with cancer will not allow me to remove that word from the back of my mind. Prior to our trip to Florida, I got a sore throat--my God you would have thought Diane and I were going to have heart attacks right there on the spot, and of course it turned out to be nothing--this time.
When he was 69, my dad had a serious health issue; however, he recovered and lived to be 74. I always viewed those last five years as bonus time, and while I don't know for sure, I'll bet cancer survivors view their time after treatment in much the same way. I also think maybe we are a little more conscious of time and how precious it is particularly as it comes to our loved ones.
We are off to Burlington, IA, on Wednesday to see the ENT doctor for a regular 3-month check-up and our goal is for him to have NOTHING to say after our visit. The next big event on this journey for us will be in June when I am due for my next PET scan. If it comes back clean, that will probably be the appropriate time to make a final blog entry. Here's hoping that's the case.
