Changes and the Idiot

I am not a very complicated person. While I believe the life I lead is full of adventures, I am a creature of habit and routine. When I get up in the morning, I take an aspirin, a chewable multi-vitamin (since I still have trouble swallowing pills), and drink a can of Ensure or Boost. I turn on MSNBC to watch Morning Joe, get dressed, and at 5:20 a.m., I'm out the door for an hour walk with my friend, Sean O'Donnell-Brown. During our walk, we kid a lot and solve the world's problems but of course no one is listening. Changes in this routine are coming. Within the last month, on two different occasions, I jogged two miles. The good news is I did it; the bad news is I could be timed with a sun dial. Last week, Macomb had its annual Heritage Days celebration, and I told Diane we were stepping outside of our comfort zone and doing something we hadn't done before. I drove uptown, parked the car, and we entered Chandler Park. We walked up to a vendor, and I proudly announced that we needed a funnel cake and two forks. We sat quietly on a park bench and consumed said funnel cake. This may not seem like much but last year, I slept through Heritage Days as I had just completed my treatment.

I tend to notice little things that indicate progress since I entered the world of the "new normal." I take little for granted. Last week saw appreciable improvement in my ability to taste but this week, I seem to be regressing a bit. I'm confident that they will come back again, but these things seem to be two steps forward and one step back. All in all, I think I'm getting better every day.

We all need a good laugh so let me give you one at my expense. A couple of weeks ago when Diane was in Texas, I got up at 4:30 a.m. Local on the 8s from the Weather Channel said it might rain but what the hell, I had nothing to do, I'm up so let's do the long annual walk to East Street out by Hy-Vee Grocery Store and back. I decide to take an umbrella (just in case) and get in the car and start it. It dawns on me that it is 5:30 a.m. and maybe, just maybe, I might need some money so I head back into the house and pick up a twenty and off I go parking the car in the Morgan Hall lot on Western's campus. So far so good. I hear a little thunder and see a little lightning but nothing to be concerned about.

I walk across Q lot, past Tanner and Wetzel residence halls and get to Pierce Street Liquors when the thunder and lightning begin to take on an ominous sound. I plod ahead thinking how angry I'll be if I get struck by lightning while out for a morning walk. I head around the Macomb square and decide let's go for it and head east on Route 136 (Jackson Street). I look down and lo and behold I see two quarters and a penny so things are looking up. I look behind me and it is not good--darkening skies, more bursts of intense lightning, and loud thunder but by now I'm sort of committed to find shelter and have already passed County Market grocery store. I decide Hy-Vee is it so I arrive there just as all hell breaks loose. My one stroke of good timing and by this time the umbrella was insufficient to protect me from the driving horizontal rain and wind.

Once in the safety of the store, I see some farmers drinking coffee, go back and use the bathroom, and ask a cashier if she will call me a cab. She replies that she does not have the authority to male that call. I find the manager who says, "Sure Gordy, I'll help you." It turns out she had just graduated from Western, and I had spoken to a couple of her classes. Such a nice coincidence. I wait 30 minutes for a cab but no problem as it is still pouring. The cab driver drops me off at Morgan Hall, and I give him $10. I pull into the garage at 7 a.m. just as the hail commences. It was quite an adventure.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I could have rolled over and heard the rain hit the roof but instead I was caught in the middle of a violent thunderstorm. What an idiot.

Symbolism

I'd have a more specific title but I'm a little short of words on how to describe the above photos. When we first arrived at Fort Myers Beach in early February, I announced I was going to lose 10 pounds which as explained elsewhere here, I unfortunately did. On many days I would walk between 5 to 15 miles as the beach is long, unobstructed, and beautiful. I have always been an early morning riser so it was not uncommon for me to hit the beach at 6 a.m. when the moon was still out and the stars were in the sky, and I was the only person on the beach walking that early.

I walked north to Bowditch Park where I turned around and returned our house. This particular round trip was about 5 miles. At some point prior to my diagnosis, I came across a large piece of driftwood firmly implanted in the sand much like the barriers you see in those famous photos on Normandy on D-Day. At first, I smacked my hand on the driftwood just when I thought about it but later it became a ritual--one pat on the way down, another pat on the way back, and then after my diagnosis on March 4th, my little ritual somehow became symbolic of what lied ahead. Did I hit it because it was strong or because it was always there or because I could count on it or because it gave me strength to face the future. On one of our walks, Diane noticed my little ritual and asked me about it. I explained to the best of my ability and in that somehow inexplicable relationship that develops in a marriage, she took the above photo during high tide.

As our departure date from Florida moved closer, I gave more and more thought to my driftwood adventure. I had NO idea of what was in store for Diane and me in the months to come, but I pledged that someday, good, bad, or indifferent, Diane and I would return to revisit this poignant part of our world. I remain committed to this return visit but know that it is a long way from becoming a reality as I could no more walk from our little house to Bowditch Park than I could from Macomb to Chicago.

The intricacies of marriage are complicated and unique to each couple. I told everyone that we should low-key Fathers Day as I wouldn't be up for doing anything. Just having Gordon and Ryan home was plenty for me. At the conclusion of our Fathers Day festivities, Diane smiled and said, "a couple more things." What do you give a person who has everything they want and, of course, something they don't want. Before I opened package number one, I thought what could this be? Our house is full of photos and paintings and there's just nothing left to give me. Well, wasn't I surprised. Enclosed was a aerial photo of the north end of Fort Myers Beach which highlights Bowditch Park where I took one of my daily walks. On it were the words, "I'll walk with you forever." Under normal circumstances, that would be pretty emotional, but during the current state of affairs, it was nothing short of spectacular.

Package number two was also flat. Hmmmm--the original Gettysburg Address? the original Constitution? I simply was clueless. Photo number 1 took me to the edge. Photo number 2 took me over. It was a photo of MY DRIFTWOOD--Gordy Taylor's driftwood that is now a permanent reminder that after this is over, I will take that walk and I will return to our special place that thousands of people will pass every day and none except us will know of its true meaning.

Now I'm around the house a LOT these days making up for having been on the road for 30 plus years as the alumni guy. I'm serious here. With the exception to West Burlington's Cancer Care Center, I have not left Macomb since March 30th. While we are giving each other space, I do pass Diane frequently and say, "what's up?, what are you doing?" You get my point. How in the world was she able to orchestrate this magnificent surprise as it required the Fort Myers local photographer, Kim Hambor, to not only see a photo taken by Diane of my driftwood but also finding it and capturing its essence on a beautiful sunset beach. Diane is forever indebted to Kim for her graciousness and kindness and wants to share her website: http://www.kimhambor.com

I'm still weak but taking daily walks and slowly gaining strength. I drank a little more water today and am going to try apple juice tomorrow. That's all on the health beat but I thought it worthwhile to share my driftwood story as we never know what events will change our lives and the relationships therein.