Yesterday marked a big day for Gordy and his recovery journey. It was seven weeks ago when he ended his radiation/chemotherapy treatments. Dr. McGinnis and Dr. El-Khoury repeatedly explained that the effects were cumulative and during the 7 weeks of 35 radiation hits and 5 chemos, Gordy would get worse and worse. He did. Dr. McGinnis never sugar coated the details of which we are most grateful--sort of. According to radiation specialist McGinnis, he said, "Gordy, we are going to push you to the edge of a cliff and just when you think the treatment is going to push you over that proverbial edge, we will slowly reel you back." Trying to bolster our confidence, he tried to reassure us by saying, "you will get through this!" June 10, 2010 ended our daily trips to the Cancer Care Center.
The kicker is that it took 7 weeks to get to this fragile and weak state. It takes another SEVEN weeks to begin to feel better in a real sense. Completing the 7 weeks is fantastic but at that completion, Gordy was not in a good place. The two weeks after June 10th were the worst because of the extremely painful mouth sores, total fatigue, inability to swallow, continued nausea, destroyed salivary glands, and depleted taste buds. The good news is he is better. Thank God. I do everyday.
Slowly he is eating more and sleeping less. His daily 40 minute morning walks help psychologically and physically. He is completely weaned of all pain meds; this was a gradual decrease so that he wouldn't experience withdrawal symptoms. At one point and excuse me if I have written this previously, daily he was on morphine patches, phenergan suppositories, 8 teaspoons of liquid vicidin, and 2 doses of Lorazepan. No wonder he slept a lot!! His throat is not painful but that area is swollen and compromised thus the difficulty in swallowing. Patience continues to be his biggest enemy in my humble opinion. Everyone and I do mean EVERYONE tells him about the importance of patience and taking baby steps but anyone who knows this guy knows that this is not one of his characteristics. But he is moving forward and luckily he is better today than he was--now that is progress!!
Because he was off of all pain meds, I have been getting out more and more. Gordy sets up dear old PEG and his feedings with ease and also crushes his pills effectively without Dr. Diane's assistance. At first, I could NOT bear to be away from him for more than an hour. Caregivers out there will understand this. I compare it to having a newborn and as a mom, it is so very difficult to be away. However, my separation anxiety kicked in big time--not for Gordy but for my precious grandsons, Luke (6) and James (2). Yes, I missed Jennifer, John, and Caesar boy (my yellow lab grand dog) but the pull on my heart strings was from Luke and James. I had not seen them since February when the Stevensons visited us in Florida B.C.D. (before cancer diagnosis). I am fortunate to get my Grandma fix usually every 3 to 4 months but to go from February to the end of July had been a long time.
Gordy and I strongly feel that Luke and James should not be around Gordy during this time when he can't play with them. Luke's favorite names for Papa are Mr. Fun, the King, Darth Vadar, Jack Sparrow, and my buddy. Seeing Gordy and PEG is too much and too disturbing. Little boy germs are not welcomed either. We felt it was time for me to book a flight to Texas. My biggest fear was that Gordy would choke--really choke while I was gone but he promised not to try anything new to eat by mouth while I was gone. Of course, driving away from our home on July 28th as Gordy waved to me from the front porch was sad, but I needed to have hugs, kisses, and that unconditional love grandchildren provide. Many of you know I'm not the best flyer--okay, all of you can stop your howling! However, in order to see James and Luke, I take Southwest Airlines out of St. Louis to Houston and then change planes for a short trip to Corpus Christi! Gosh, I desperately wish I could drive to get those snuggles and hugs.
As you can see from the photos, we all had a great time! One night John, Jennifer, and I went out for dinner thus the boys in their jammies. The other photos are from a newly constructed fountain area located near the water in Corpus. When I g0t wet from one of the sprays, Luke and James laughed so much that Grandma got caught unexpectedly. We took walks to get donuts, cooled off in their children's pool, snuggled in bed in the morning, bought school supplies for Luke, read lots and lots of books, played games, sang songs, went to the beach, and shared lots of love. It was TERRIFIC--just what the doctor ordered. It is always difficult to leave but being around Luke and James is a wonderful tonic. After a week, my separation anxiety increased for Gordy and on August 4th, I flew home on two very smooth flights.
Thanks to all of you who called, stopped by, stayed overnight, emailed, and checked up on my man. I know he wanted to go with me but for now, Papa and I will continue to Skype. Realistically, his recovery is going to be a very long haul but it is a RECOVERY!!
