Lisa and Gordon at Derek and Erin's wedding--July 2010
Ryan, Diane, Anna (Diane's Mom), and Gordon 
James and Luke--Pirate Buddies! 
Jennifer, James, John, & Luke--Birthday Party 2010Recently I received an email from a classmate with whom I went to school from 1st grade through high school. Karen and I share certain commonalities in our marriages in terms of loving spouses, great kids, and wonderful grandchildren. She mentioned how lucky Diane and I were to have each other as we walk the cancer path together. Tragically Karen lost her husband Jeff suddenly a couple of years ago. Her candor and honesty about the hands we are dealt in life hit home. Her email caused me to stop in my tracks and give some long overdue thought to my situation.
I feel this is as good a time as any to reflect on a couple of issues and to share my thoughts on a difficult topic with my kids as well. I am not sure where what follows will take me, but it is time. Karen's comments about living life without her husband really resonated with me as I have given little thought to the possibility of Diane living life without me. I am confident Diane and I will share many more years together but "what if?"
I have told my kids forever if I were to die tomorrow--any tomorrow--I will be very pissed. I then add that while that is true, whenever the day comes, I will have few if any regrets as mine has been a wonderful life. I have a fabulous wife and should add that if I had not met her, I am confident my life would not have turned out to be as blessed as it has been. Diane has been my rock, my ballast, and she keeps me focused and simply by and large protects me from myself. I have 3 terrific children, a super son-in-law and daughter-in-law, 2 neat grandsons, had a simply spectacular career, have travelled extensively, and have literally nothing left on my "bucket list" except to enjoy my family in the years ahead.
I assume that by and large, Jeff felt the same way about his life and his future with Karen. That is where our paths separate. Jeff's untimely death reminds me of a story Bruce Craddock, WIU's former head football coach, told when he was diagnosed with cancer and subsequently died. After learning his condition was terminal, Bruce assembled his family and said, "Yes, this is a very bad break but at least we have an opportunity to spend quality time together before I leave this world. I could have died yesterday or tomorrow in a car accident and we would not have this time together." Bruce was right. While his passing was sad, he did get to spend quality time with his family.
While I know everything will work out for my family and me, I am dealing with cancer and one never knows what the future holds or when our journey through life will ever end.
To Jennifer, Gordon, and Ryan: This is how I feel and you should all know how proud I am of all you do and what you've done with your lives. I still intend to kick Jen's butt in tennis, take Gordon to the hoop in driveway basketball, and go deep on Ryan in our backyard Field of Dreams. Of course, Diane, Europe and a whole bunch of Marriott points are waiting to be spent.
I thanked Karen for writing and being the inspiration for me to have a long overdue conversation with myself and my loved ones.
I feel this is as good a time as any to reflect on a couple of issues and to share my thoughts on a difficult topic with my kids as well. I am not sure where what follows will take me, but it is time. Karen's comments about living life without her husband really resonated with me as I have given little thought to the possibility of Diane living life without me. I am confident Diane and I will share many more years together but "what if?"
I have told my kids forever if I were to die tomorrow--any tomorrow--I will be very pissed. I then add that while that is true, whenever the day comes, I will have few if any regrets as mine has been a wonderful life. I have a fabulous wife and should add that if I had not met her, I am confident my life would not have turned out to be as blessed as it has been. Diane has been my rock, my ballast, and she keeps me focused and simply by and large protects me from myself. I have 3 terrific children, a super son-in-law and daughter-in-law, 2 neat grandsons, had a simply spectacular career, have travelled extensively, and have literally nothing left on my "bucket list" except to enjoy my family in the years ahead.
I assume that by and large, Jeff felt the same way about his life and his future with Karen. That is where our paths separate. Jeff's untimely death reminds me of a story Bruce Craddock, WIU's former head football coach, told when he was diagnosed with cancer and subsequently died. After learning his condition was terminal, Bruce assembled his family and said, "Yes, this is a very bad break but at least we have an opportunity to spend quality time together before I leave this world. I could have died yesterday or tomorrow in a car accident and we would not have this time together." Bruce was right. While his passing was sad, he did get to spend quality time with his family.
While I know everything will work out for my family and me, I am dealing with cancer and one never knows what the future holds or when our journey through life will ever end.
To Jennifer, Gordon, and Ryan: This is how I feel and you should all know how proud I am of all you do and what you've done with your lives. I still intend to kick Jen's butt in tennis, take Gordon to the hoop in driveway basketball, and go deep on Ryan in our backyard Field of Dreams. Of course, Diane, Europe and a whole bunch of Marriott points are waiting to be spent.
I thanked Karen for writing and being the inspiration for me to have a long overdue conversation with myself and my loved ones.
