My Father-in-Law

Gordy, Harry, & Gordon--50 years after WWII, Dad put on his uniform in 1993.
Harry & Anna Paulsen at the WWII Memorial in Nov. 2007. A young man who was visiting approached Dad to shake his hand and thank him for serving our country.
Anna & Harry Paulsen and Diane by the Illinois column at the WWII Memorial. We felt it important that they see Washington, D.C. and specifically the the WWII Memorial. It was a memorable trip and Diane and I are very happy we did this in 2007.

I tend to write about people and I think I know why. While I've had the opportunity to meet to see many places and things in my life, it's people who interest me the most. Harry James Paulsen Jr. is one of those people; he's my father-in-law. Harry Paulsen is not a millionaire. I don't believe he's invented anything. He never drove a fancy car or lived in a mansion. He was not a great athlete, didn't go to college, and never had a high profile job. Yet Harry is an extraordinary man. Born in 1921, he married Anna Arnoldsen in 1947. They have 4 children--Diane, Arne, Paul, and Ruth; 9 grandchildren; and 15 great-grandchildren. He lived in the same house in Winthrop Harbor, IL, for over 50 years and worked until he was 80 years old.

What makes Harry Paulsen unique is the way he lived his life. In a world of flamboyant, headline seekers, looking for their 15 minutes of fame, Harry is EVERYMAN. Since he was a young boy, he had a job and never missed more than a handful of days of work in 60 years. He always paid his bills on time, preferred hamburger steak to lobster and mowed his own lawn. In the 44 years I've known him, he never uttered a profane word. He went to church every Sunday, was handy around the house, liked to take walks, and his major indulgence was and still is chocolate nonpareil candies. He never smoked and rarely raised his voice in anger.

In 1943, he began his stint in the Army. Harry served with distinction in the 104th Infantry Division (Timberwolves). On October 29, 1944, in Breda, Holland, shrapnel from a bomb explosion hit him in the back leaving a wide and deep scare. This Purple Heart recipient is a quiet introspective man. You know the type: they don't say much but when they do they listen. Sometimes those who say the least really are the ones who say the most. Actions speak volumes.

Harry Paulsen is a man I've grown to admire, respect, and in the highest praise I can give, love as if he were my own father. Harry believes in hard work. He taught life's lessons to his children by example. He never complained, never made excuses, he just did what he had to do and expected the same from his children who are all successful college graduates.

He is an unpretentious, modest man who earned respect by the manner in which he lived his life. Harry is a part of Tom Brokaw's Greatest Generation, those men and women who put their lives in peril so that future generations could live in prosperity and peace. Harry discovered what many of us seem to be seeking--simplicity and comfort in a life well lived. He was always an individual who took the words of noted humanitarian Albert Schweitzer to heart: "Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it's the only thing." In my mind, the world is a better place because Harry Paulsen walked among us.

I wish this story had a happy ending but it doesn't. This wonderful man who will turn 90 on September 28, 2011, has been fallen by vascular dementia. Family members continue to visit him frequently in Rolling Hills Nursing Home in Zion but he has no memory of his past life and good deeds. He still smiles when you enter the room and his cheerful demeanor remains but it is sad to see this once wonderful husband, father, grandpa, and citizen so compromised. I'm sure many of you reading this are dealing with similar issues and please know that Diane's and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Life is a funny thing and there are no guarantees. I have to deal with the "new Gordy" after cancer and I must admit, I miss the carefree life I assumed I would enjoy forever. Yet I do know that the adventure continues and there will be ups and downs ahead just as there will be for all of you. For my father-in-law, the "knowing" part of his journey is ended and all that remains is for the physical part of his trip to conclude. I may be preaching a little but thinking about Harry makes me realize that we all should savor the richness of each stage of life.

Half a Pancake and an Egg--Cancellations

I'm back on the blog. It's been a couple of weeks for me as Diane posted last time. I continue to improve, but it is soooo slow. This is the most frustrating thing for me, but I need to cope with it as it is my reality for the next year. All the medical experts and others who have had base of tongue and/or tonsillar cancer tell me there is simply no rushing recovery. It will seem like forever, but recovery will happen.

Next week I'm meeting with Maury Coats, Austin, TX, who will be in town visiting Maureen and Eldon Hare. Maury is the only person I know who has actually endured and survived the exact same thing I have. Everyone else has/had tonsillar cancer. He has been a wealth of information and support in the past 6 months.

I continue to survive primarily via PEG and cans of product. However, I am making progress. While I have NO appetite or desire to eat, I am forcing myself to do so. I eat yogurt, soup, malteds, oatmeal, and fruit. Today was a BIG day and I do mean BIG. I returned from my walk and a visit to the chiropractor (my back is better) and suggested to Diane that we go out for breakfast at Rocky's. We visited a few patrons and then we ordered. Diane had A pancake and I had AN egg over easy. Diane gave me half her pancake and off I went. I put copious amounts of butter on the pancake and then drenched it in syrup and then with little tiny bites, dipped it in my egg yolk. As I put this in my mouth, I chased it with lots of water to wash it down. This is an activity we all take for granted, but not me. This is real work. However, it was my first visit to a restaurant since mid-April. Total cost including a generous tip was $6.00. Ahhhh life in a small town.

In the past 10 days, I've been having headaches, so the doctor suggested a trip to Burlington on Monday where blood work up always precedes appointments. It appears I might have an issue with my thyroid so I'm returning to the Cancer Care Center on Monday, August 16th, for more extensive tests via my blood. Hopefully, this is a minor issue and can be resolved easily. As they say in Burlington, you had cancer in the "neck and head area so we need to monitor any potential problems closely." I do not relish these visits but they are obviously necessary to my long-term health.

Finally, cancellations are becoming a part of my life. So far I missed the Cubs/Sox series, Cubs/Cards series, family wedding, and just last week cancelled a trip to the Ozarks with David and Gretchen Miller that had been on the docket for a year. I really hated not to go but I just didn't think it was time. We've also cancelled a trip to Purdue to watch WIU play football on September 11th. This was going to give us an excuse to visit the former director of the Purdue Alumni Association, Larry Preo, and his lovely wife Wendy. They have been very supportive throughout my odyssey and Larry has been a confidant, good friend, and close colleague for over 20 years.

Life is good and progress is being made. By the way, this blog apparently works and serves a higher calling. Last week, I was contacted by a high school buddy who had a sore throat and decided he better go to the doctor. He has throat cancer and has already begun treatment. Good luck, Rocky!!!