Aw Shucks.....

The news wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. We met doctors from 9 to noon. The oncologist suggested a regimen of radiation only until he felt the lump on the left side of my neck at which time he sort of stepped back and said, "PET scans don't show everything and your scan is a month old so I think you need a chemo cocktail in addition to radiation." We had hoped the lump was simply a swollen gland but it appears this is not the case. However the news is not all bad. Yes, the lump is a lymph node that is probably cancerous but this is NOT and I repeat NOT unusual for cancer in the head and neck areas. Dr. El-Khoury who I believe is 12 years old and his upbeat nurse Vicki were blunt and to the point. They looked at my finely tuned body and said that I had no weight to lose and therefore without question I should have a feeding tube called a PEG. I might not need it for the first couple of weeks but after that it would be a necessity and extremely painful to insert at that time because it goes down my throat. It took me about 2 seconds to lose that argument as I hoped not to have one but it is clear I will need one.

After our consultation, Vicki gave Diane and me a tour of the chemotherapy room. How delightful. I'm told I can listen to music, watch tv, bring a laptop, eat, sleep, or whatever during my weekly 3 hour plus chemo treatment while lounging in a lazy boy. They also provide warming blankets since they keep the room rather cool. I don't have to have a port for the chemo but will have an IV in my hand.

Next stop was Dr. Bill McGinnis. The Great River Medical Center's (GRMC) Cancer Care facility is affiliated with the University of Iowa--a well-respected medical facility. Dr. McGinnis has a great bedside manner but during our one-hour conversation, he made it clear that of all the types of cancer he works with, this variety is the worst in terms of pain and discomfort. He said the first two weeks will be tolerable followed by 5 weeks of hell. At some point, I literally will not be able to swallow and that is where PEG becomes invaluable as I need to have calories and protein to fight the cancer, maintain my body weight, and stave off infection. He was very clear that this will be an awful time followed by a rather slow recovery BUT he assures me I will survive.

On Monday, I will go back to GRMC and get fitted for my famous mask which will go over my face and shoulders and be bolted to a table where the radiation is applied. It looks like a hockey mask with small holes. Claustophobia anyone? Thank goodness I don't have it. Also, another CT-scan is required because they need to know exactly where the tumor is located.

Among my responsibilities next week is to get the PEG inserted so that I can be ready to accept sustenance in that manner. Did you know that you can get vicadon in liquid form? I'm told this will help me and Diane is ready to insert whatever I need. In addition, Diane will prepare me a mouthwash comprised of salt, baking soda, and water. My 50-year marriage to Listerine is over for now as it contains alcohol which would burn the crap out of my mouth during treatment.

It takes at least 7 to 10 working days to set up all of this after the CT-scan so my earliest start date is April 21st by which time I will be a raving madman. No, no, I'm the motivation guy so patience is now a virtue I embrace. If anyone believes that, you are reading the wrong blog but life is what it is so we shall move forward accordingly.

I must admit as we walked out of the office at 12:01 p.m., I wanted (1) to throw up or (2) to have a stiff drink or (3) to cry. Instead, we opted for a homemade soup supreme lunch prepared by Gretchen Miller at the David and Gretchen Miller home in West Burlington. I must tell you my dad was right--the most important things in life are not things at all but rather the people we meet on life's journey who enrich us, support us, challenge us, and nurture us. Boy, am I finding that out first hand.

One last comment--my new life gives me time to do things I haven't done before. For the last couple of weeks, I have found myself at WIU softball games with Jim Miner and baseball games with Mike and Susan Pendergast. It's fun to shoot the breeze and take in a ball game. You learn to savour the little things in life.

Next step: Monday and the mask!!