Oh My God!

I have not been here for 3 days for a very good reason: I am so sick. Unfortunately for Marty Green, Chad Allaman, and Roger and Judy Miller who visited over the weekend, they saw the "new normal" for Gordy and it is so not pretty.

Arrived at CCC at 9 a.m. after driving over in a torrential rain storm. First stop was the chemo room--brought a healing shawl/blanket and current issue of Newsweek and some snacks such as pudding. During the two-hour IV hydration which includes potassium, a steriod-type liquid, and saline solution, they managed to squeeze a radiation treatment. The actual chemo lasted from 12:45 to 3:45 and was a breeze. I just sat there and relaxed. Not many people get chemo on Fridays. Diane actually sat in the Lazy Boy next to me and managed to dose off a bit. I felt great on the way home. Once in Macomb, we stopped at the Dairy Queen for a blizzard.

Chemo is very sneaky and debilating. At 8 p.m., up came the blizzard in a single lump followed by unrelenting nausea. Folks I've never had nausea, hell I've never been sick, but I am now. All I could do Saturday and Sunday was lie in bed and sleep. I am supposed to take 9 cans a day of Fibersource but I had 2 cans Saturday and 3 cans Sunday. This is NOT good, and I must visit with the doctor about this situation. I am also taking two types of anti-nausea medicine which don't seem to help much but I don't know what it would be like with them.

Coach P visited Saturday and that was the highlight of the day. Gosh, he looks terrific and gives me hope and inspiration. He helped Diane and me set up my feeding apparatus which is an IV gravity bag that hangs from a poll-like metal stand on wheels. I have never felt this bad in my life and it continues day after day and it is only just beginning. Sometimes I just wish I could go to sleep and not wake up but I know this is not an option. I need to prove to myself that I can beat this thing. It's almost like my postings up until now have had a Disney-like tone. "Oh my this is bad but it will get better. Isn't life grand?" My guess is the real odyssey is just beginning. Hope I'm up to it.

When all this started, I was told by many of you that Diane would be my rock, my inspiration, my nurse, my friend, and my caretaker. I wasn't sure what that meant but I sure know now. There is NO way I could survive this without her by my side. It has to be terrible to be a spouse and witness all this happening to someone with whom you've spent your entire adult life. Thank you Diane. I love you.

It's important for Diane to experience some normalcy in our tumultous world. On Saturday she had fun at a bridal shower, went out for a delicious dinner at the Red Ox with Marty, and enjoyed organizing her new kitchen. Judy and Roger Miller drove from Burr Ridge for a visit and brought some tasty food from Charlie Trotter's carry out menu. Diane needs to remember to eat properly and take care of herself so she can continue to take care of me!

It is 9 a.m. and I'm finishing my 2nd can of "food." Hooray for me! We have radiation at 3 p.m. today and 9:30 the rest of the week so we'll probably stay tonight with friends David and Gretchen Miller in West Burlington. Sorry this isn't more upbeat but I'm just trying to be honest. Consider yourselves lucky--I suggested to Diane she take a photo of me this morning and post it. And she said, "no way."