And So It Goes....



Boat by a Marco Island Sunset



Good news from West Burlington, IA. I was scoped on Wednesday, April 11th, and Dr. Doug Henrich said, “Looks good! Instead of the usual three months, let’s see you in six!” Doug informed us that the first year after treatment has the highest incidence of recurrence and if patients make it to the end of year two where I am the odds greatly improve. I will remain in his care for a total of five years so there will always be some angst but so far so good. We did ask him why I need to still take water with every bite of food and why I can’t take pills. He said the answer is simple: “Just like a burn victim, there is scarring in your throat from the ravages of radiation. Most people have membranes that ease the flow of food down and you don’t. It’s that simple.” Diane and I shook hands with Doug, walked out the door down the hallway, and gave each other a high five!

The experience reminded me a bit of when I completed the Ph.D. There were no fireworks or bands playing but an ominous cloud had been lifted. I’ve come across a few quotes that explain where I am now but the first has to do with how people should live their lives.

Quote One:
“You can live to be 100 if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be 100.”

Clearly Diane and I have changed from this experience. We are more pensive, more spiritual, take little for granted, and have learned to savor each day that comes our way. We do not intend to let this adventure cause us to stop living vigorous and, for us, exciting lives.

Quote Two:
“Do not resent growing old. Many are denied the privilege.”

I read this quote and stopped in my tracks. My first blog entry was on March 23, 2010. Today is a rainy, cool day in Macomb. As I was looking for when we started all of this, I began to peruse some of the early entries. They made me cry. I seem to have forgotten much of what happened and that is good for me but it was a wake-up call as I read those words from two years ago. I look back and think about this young guy (maybe not so young) who had no idea what lied ahead, and I’m lucky enough to be able to have told the story with Diane’s help of course.

Quote Three:
“Time may be a great healer, but it is a lousy beautician.”

I have to laugh at this one. I feel good, and I think I look pretty good but the man who looks back at me in the mirror these days has done some living and not all of it was fun. There’s no way around it—cancer takes its toll and you can see it in the face of survivors.

Quote Four:
“And in the end, it’s not the years that count. It’s the life in those years.”

If Diane and I have learned anything from all of this, it is to appreciate each sunrise and each sunset and everything in between. I have met individuals in the winter of their lives who have never really lived, and others whose lives were cut short but made every day count. We will not get complacent about what the future may have in store for us and will continue to live each day to the fullest.
.

Marco Island Sunset

Every day is the beginning of a new adventure. For Diane and me, we are excited at the prospect of a granddaughter scheduled to arrive in August with the parents being son Gordon III and his wife Lisa. That’s the way life works. There is always something on the horizon.




Announcing Gordon & Lisa are having a girl in August.
Diane wrote it in the sand on beach in Marco Island on March 29th!



As I close out this blog, I need to reiterate why we started it in the first place. The goal was to inform others about our odyssey and how we dealt with it as candidly and honestly as we could. We have done that. The question then remains for me, what have I learned from all of this? I believe I can tell you:

1. A loving spouse or significant other is tremendously helpful when dealing with any kind of serious illness or adversity. Diane was always there to take care of my every need but physiologically and psychologically. These were tall orders on both accounts.

2. A positive mental attitude (PMA) serves us well. I’ve given “the motivational speech” thousands of times and the words just seem to flow. This experience has caused me to realize that a PMA is not just a catchy phrase but a prescription for a good life. I often say you can find clouds or sunshine, the choice is up to you.

3. I will get choked up as I type this but oh my God, you people have been so good to me. Cards, letters, emails, calls, prayers, books, food for me, an occasional meal out for Diane, visits, replies on the blog, driving me to treatments, and so much more made me realize even more the importance of friendship and love. Diane and I thank you for being there when we needed you the most.

View of a Marco Island sunrise from our balcony

We’re still here.  Diane tells me that the blog will stay open just no new entries. I can be reached at gordytaylor46@yahoo.com and Diane at dianemtaylor@comcast.net .

Love to all…. Gordy and Diane

The Mask, The Road, The House

A quick disclaimer here--I heard that someone thought that the blog is too sad to read. I must tell you that my external demeanor remains upbeat, after all I am the guy who closes every speech with the words, "Everyday above ground is a good day." Putting my thoughts on this blog and sharing them is kathartic for both Diane and me and both helpful and informative to readers. My purpose is that this be more like a documentary. I know in my heart that this journey is really going to suck, but I'm totally convinced that the outcome will be a spectacular version of Gordy Taylor albeit a bit more reflective and sensitive.

The attached photo is not me but it is precisely what I was fitted with yesterday. The mask is a combination of hockey goalie/Hannibal Lector. It covers my face and shoulders almost but not quite to the point of discomfort.

Real life returned to our world yesterday. Sometimes things happen to make you realize life is really one thing after another. As we were returning to Macomb on the rural highways of west-central Illinois, we passed through the point of no return in the town of LaHarpe, Diane got a call from Sheila at the Cancer Care Center. "Can you come back--one of our procedures was inconclusive." So U-turn it was and 35 minutes later we were back to Burlington. The staff was very apologetic and even here we have some humor a the nurses said, "your shoulders are broader than we thought and the imaging material did not descend enough." There I was standing there in my shorts with no shirt--now get this visual--my shoulders are too broad which of course I brought to their immediate attention. We all had a raucous laugh and they got back to business.

We returned to Macomb and our home which could have been a real Nagasaki. From time to time when Diane goes down our basement steps to the family room, she insists that she smells natural gas, but then it goes away. She's even told the furnace people. On Sunday, friends Jill and Steve Bainter visited and when walking into our house, they mentioned "we smell gas." It turns out we have not one not two but three minor gas leaks at different locations around our house part of which is due to the house settling after 27 years. Only the gas company guys could have found these tiny leaks as they are indeed very small and the problem has been addressed. Think about it--wouldn't it have been something had we returned to Macomb to find our house gone. Luckily the contractor and workers were here and the kitchen renovation proceeds. Diane told me it wasn't an easy day for her.

Yesterday I had a banana and juice for breakfast; chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese and french fries (in LaHarpe at a local diner); had an ice cream bar and fruit stick for dinner plus 3 cans of Ensure--the food battle continues.