Ground Hogs Day and Prepare for Change

After getting the electric-powered gravity feeding machine on Friday afternoon thanks to the medical support staff, we both felt that this was the answer to the nausea and vomiting. The slow drip of liquid product into PEG would possibly deter the full feeling. Friday night beginning around 7 p.m., we started the machine with a gravity plastic bag filled with four cans of a new type of product. Each can is 250 ml for a total of 1000 ml over 12 hours. Sounded like a plan--anything to help.

I am trying to walk in Gordy's shoes right now. I still can't even get my mind wrapped around the concept, and I'm living with him. Probably Coach Patterson and Maury Coats know exactly how Gordy is doing physically and mentally. Maury also had base of tongue cancer and is a survivor. Even though we've never met him, Gordy has talked to him and they exchange emails. He is friends with a couple in Macomb.

Even though it is June 1st, Gordy and I feel like we are participants in the film Ground Hogs Day. Every day now is the same. We usually love structure and schedules. Now we have to follow one for Gordy's survival. People ask me what I'm doing for myself. Right now--my purpose is to help Gordy through this. I may have an hour or two, but I don't feel comfortable leaving him. His situation is too tenuous.

Because we're dealing with so many meds, I started a weekend schedule I follow as his caregiver. Give or take 30 minutes or so, the following is what transpires on days we are not travelling to CCC:

6 a.m. Machine beep sounds, the all-night feeding/drip ends
6:30 Gordy rinses mouth/tries to clear throat of saliva and yellow mucous
7:00 2 tsp. of liquid Vicodin through PEG--falls back to sleep
8:45 Lorazepam concentrate through dropper in PEG, water flush before and after all meds through PEG. Phenergan suppository for nausea and vomiting--these two meds are refrigerated.
9:15 Sleep/Rest
10:00 Shower
noon Vicodin and 2 cans of 300 calories each of product. 500 ml total through the electric pump at 100 ml per hour. The pump is plugged in--no batteries--so Gordy basically is in bed during this time.
1:45 Tries to use "Magic Mouthwash" prescription which contains Lydocaine. This is somewhat a touch and go procedure because of the nausea.
2:45 Suppository and Lorazepam
4:00 Vicodin through PEG
5:00 End of two cans of "product" through the machine, rests for a while
7:00 Another try of Magic Mouthwash. Set up 4 cans of product for all-night drip feeding. This time we set it for 80 ml per hour. Gordy is in bed for the night at this time.
9:00 Tries to sleep for the night. Vicodin, Phenergan, and Lorazepan are given one last time.

Gord also has a morphine patch on his chest which must be changed every 72 hours. His world has gotten a lot smaller since last Wednesday. I usually retreat to the first floor but check on him almost every hour. If he needs me, he rings a bell someone had given me when I was recovering from surgery years ago. I'm so glad I kept it!!

We both felt pretty darn good about our Ground Hog Day existence until last night. Yep, the vomiting began which is horrible. He's hooked up through PEG to the machine but needs to make it out of bed to get to the bathroom. We are both depressed that this is happening.

I'm driving Gordy this morning to Iowa and hopefully will get some answers or directions concerning what our next steps are to help him through the treatment. This is not for the faint hearted. This is not for wimps. This demands strength, tenacity, and fortitude. We are not backing down even though it is frustrating and depressing about the return of vomiting. We continue to hang on to the fact that the prognosis is good for base of tongue cancer. Dr. McGinnis explained to us before treatment began that through radiation and chemotherapy in 7 weeks, "we will push you towards the edge of a cliff--you may not think you can go on--and then we will slowly pull you back from that edge." Well, folks, I believe we are at the edge.

Keep those blog comments, letters, emails, cards, notes, and calls coming. You lift us up with your support. Some have inquired about how to post on the blog. I believe you sign up through Google which is located above the followers' photos on the first page--not sure about this. Please keep praying and thinking good thoughts for Team Taylor.