Nagasaki East No More & Confessions of a Caregiver

Nagasaki East No More

The above photos show the before, in progress, and after photos of our new kitchen. I absolutely love it. We ordered the cabinets and worked with Winnie Nixa from West Side Lumber/Ace Hardware in Macomb back in January B.C. (before cancer). I was ready to say wait on the kitchen but Gordy talked with our neighbor on Indian Trail, Greg Mason, who is a firefighter and runs a construction business, when we returned from Florida and said, "let's go with the project." I don't think Gordy knew what this was going to entail at the time. However, Greg, Eric, and Jeff worked speedily and efficiently knowing that Gordy was about to begin treatment on April 22nd. When we returned from our first all-day chemo/radiation combination on Friday, April 23rd, the kitchen was complete. We also had other things done to the family room including new carpeting and painting. When people who worked on the project said things would get done, they were completed. Everyone was fantastic and helpful.

It is now my "go to" place. As Frank Costanza said in a Seinfeld episode, "Serenity Now." Gordy basically is upstairs hooked up to his electric pump/feeding apparatus and is trying to regain strength and get rid of his pain. The first floor is calming for me. I've set up my laptop on the kitchen table because we don't share meals at this time. I look out my window and see the lush green trees and grass. When I relax in the family room, the pots of flowers and my blue hydrangea plant bloom near the deck. The photo above is just one of the beautiful blue flowers. A deer regularly crosses our yard to get to the woods north of us. All of these things are comforting. So many things are out of our control but I feel a bit of serenity at my home.

Confessions of a Caregiver
Dairy Queen: my brother Paul and his wife Marsha gave Gordy a gift certificate to the Dairy Queen. At one point, this was one of the only things Gordy liked eating. My confession? I am now using the certificate.

Ugly cry: for the most part, I am pretty stoic and steadfast during Gord's treatment. However, I had about an hour of what I call an ugly cry Saturday night. Thanks, Monill, for listening.

Relaxation: my children and friends have given me bubble bath, lotions, cremes, and French soap and taking a luxurious and long bath is wonderful during these stressful times.

Iowa: I calculated that I drove Gordy and me to Burlington around 25 times. I had about 4 different routes over the countryside. The corn, calves, colts grew over the 7 weeks. Beautiful flowers bloomed along the routes. Even though we are relieved not to drive five days a week, it served a purpose every morning. I had to concentrate on my driving and getting there. It kept my mind off of the immediate issue--Gordy's cancer.

Vitamins: I always took my vitamins and I've been so engrossed in Gordy's meds that I have forgotten too many times. I am reminded to maintain my physical health.

Soup: dear friends made delicious soups for Gordy when he was going through his "I can only eat soup" phase before treatment. Quite a few containers are in my freezer. Gord cannot eat them now but I'm not waiting for him to taste them. I'm confessing: I am eating his soup.

Gordy's help: I've always known that Gord has been a tremendous help around the house and our yard. Now I know for sure all that he did because I'm trying to pick up the slack. I appreciate all that he did more than ever.

Tired: I go to bed almost as early as he does. Yes, we are both in our "rooms" watching our own tvs, but I can safely say that I'm upstairs pretty darn early. The mental strain and stress contribute to my physical tiredness. Bedtime at our house is 9 p.m.

Wine: Drink the good stuff! I'm not exactly a discriminating wine drinker but we visited the Napa Valley in September and after tasting white wine at one vineyard, I really liked it. But it is more expensive than my usual purchases. Now I open the wine and treat myself to the "good stuff." It is from V Sattui Winery and it called Semillon which is a lighter version of Savignon Blanc which is also very good! It has to be ordered but well worth it.


The Bible: I asked our associate pastor about specific passages in the Bible that may address what we are experiencing. Pastor Becky brought over a book that has helped. Under a heading called Trials and Tribulations a quote from the book of James (our two-year old grandson's name), it says "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." I have always liked the Parable of the Good Samaritan which is found in the book of Luke (our six-year old grandson's name). Reading the book of Luke has been comforting.

Cereal: I do like cereal. Anyone else have it for dinner? It is quick and easy and tastes pretty good. I bet other caregivers have had interesting and unusual foods for dinner.

Norm from Cheers: Remember when Norm entered Cheers and everyone would shout out his name and say Hi? Now when I walk into Ford Hopkins Pharmacy to pick up the many, many prescriptions for Gordy, everyone calls out my name because I'm there so much! You gotta love a small town.

When I confessed to my sister about having the ugly cry Saturday night and also the frustration I have with Gordy still feeling intense pain and the inability to talk clearly (hey, I may regret the talk wish) and his overall very slow recovery at this time, she sent me the following the quote:

The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

I'll close for now and soon you'll be reading another blog entry from Gordy. Time for my bubble bath!